Venus Opposite Venus Synastry Facts, Tips & Experience
The Venus opposite Venus synastry aspect is about appealing to our partner whose wants differ from ours and also understanding how much we are willing to compromise on our social wants in a relationship. It is a curious case because it’s rarely a deal-breaker yet can eventually lead to falling out when no other supportive aspects in synastry and the composite charts are strong enough. Below is a list of Venus opposite Venus synastry facts, tips and some bits and pieces of my experience with this aspect:
1. “Opposites Attract” Turns Sour?
While the Venus opposite Venus synastry aspect may start off with the opposites attract type of scenario, over time it does begin to show dissatisfaction in matters of appreciation, social interests, beauty style, hobbies, affection, and value systems. But not all is doom and gloom. Keep reading.
2. Venus Opposite Venus Synastry Romantic Contacts May Have It Easier Than Familial Ones
Early on, it might be easier to deal with this aspect in a romantic relationship scenario vs parent-child because there are other options in romantic synastry to offset the dissatisfaction, including via sex etc. This is, obviously, not an option with family members so once the two people involved realize their opposing energies, there eventually comes a time of separation in terms of social activities. The way a parent (a mother especially) shows (or withholds) affection affects the natal chart holder deeply throughout their life.
For example, warmth and physical touch-craving Venus in Leo (such as in my case) can only take so much of her mother’s aloof Venus in Aquarius before the hurt from the lack of warmth and verbal validation/cheering starts to become apparent (when in combination with other warmth-reducing placements). And no, having Venus in Aquarius in your natal chart doesn’t automatically mean you will be unaffectionate but on its own, this placement does sit as a polar opposite of Leo (the warmest sign of the zodiac) reducing the value and necessity of warm and passionate physical tokens of affection.
3. Different Social Styles and Activity Preferences
One partner likes to hang out with spiritual friends (for example, Venus in Pisces 11th house) but the other partner likes friends who are health-freaks and go to the gym to perfect their bodies (Venus in Virgo 1st house). How to resolve the conflict of each partner not wanting to compromise on getting through a night of chakra-opening exercises or sweaty cycling classes at the gym?
Well, you know how it usually goes. Either one partner puts on a fake smile for the night, or there is a quarrel or punishment by distancing. The synastry will then need the help of other more compromising aspects, to help smooth out this bumpy situation. Mars will kick in quickly as the initial responder if self-defense is perceived to be needed, followed by other personal planets. Is there a Mercury-Venus or Moon-Mercury synastry aspect perhaps that could help communicate better?
As the different types of friends, fun, foods, social activities, and arts set the stage for pulling the two partners apart or against each other, communication links (Mercury) become more and more relevant.
4. Approaching Love And Romance From Opposing Directions
In the Venus opposite Venus synastry aspect, one partner may show affection and romance by writing love poems (Venus in Pisces) while their partner shows it via giving back and foot massages and by cleaning the living room (Venus in Virgo). Dreamy creativity might seem super sweet during the honeymoon phase of dating, but in situations when there is, for instance, a Mercury square Mercury aspect that creates friction in daily habits between two people, the Venus in Virgo partner might appreciate someone who picks up socks after themselves a little more than someone who writes a random poem about socks.
The Venus opposite Venus synastry aspect is about appealing to our partner. I cannot stress this enough: Mercury is underrated in synastry yet has so much to do with whether we are even able to have mature discussions about our wants and needs with our partner.
If both partners could sit down and explain to each how their own Venus desires to be loved while recognizing that their partner may not be able to naturally provide it to them, there would be less quarrels. We give love based on our own Venus style. Expecting your partner to automatically know what that Venus wants is to expect your partner to be a mindreader.
While every woman would like to be financially secure, not every one of them places monetary tokens of affection high on her list of preferences. Some women may even prefer a home-cooked meal and a movie on a comfy couch to a fancy dinner at a restaurant.
5. Venus Opposite Venus Different Beauty & Aesthetic Styles
Let’s take the same Leo Venus opposite Venus in Aquarius example because it offers such a strikingly in-your-face-difference. This is the Royalty vs the Commoner situation. Leo Venus, no matter how humbled down by other natal chart aspects, will find herself enjoying luxurious or grand, stylish things. The Venus in Aquarius person’s style, however, is essentially that of a commoner. Sure most people won’t say “no” to luxury if it’s handed to them on a golden platter, but Venus in Leo people may actually feel rejuvenated, more excited and inspired when surrounded by more upscale style while Venus in Aquarius may feel somewhat uncomfortable with all the pomposity. After all, they may think, why spend all that money on all that expensive intricate detailing when you have entire villages struggling to make enough money to buy dinner.
When visiting ancient royal castles, for example, most Venus in Leo people might even feel almost right at home. Emerging in the royal fairy-tale can further stimulate the desire to create more art and make the world glamorous. By contrast, the Venus in Aquarius will explore and observe all the royal glamour but more so from a social experiment and social history kind of view. At times, you may even notice them smirking at all the “unnecessary” grandeur!
Another example from my real life. My mom (Venus in Aquarius, Moon in 5th house) and I (Venus in Leo 4th house, Moon in 12th house) both love to sew at home. My fashion designs often get attention when I wear them out; they often stand out thanks to my choice of fabrics and patterns, even if I buy them on a budget (“diva on a dime” applies to me). My mom’s fashion designs are much simpler and use colours and patterns that would often qualify as being polar opposites of what I would choose for myself (you wouldn’t see too much grey in my outfits unless with some funky detailing and silver accessories). One part of her wants to create something new, but another part of her doesn’t make her feel comfortable with creating something that would get too much attention. Is this Venusian example a deal-breaker? Of course not! But her inability to show physical or verbal affection is :(.
6. Opposing Values Require Reconciliation
Venus also rules our values, and in the Venus opposite Venus synastry aspect, obviously, those are in disaccord. Look at the house each partner’s Venus sits in. My mother’s Venus in Aquarius is in her 6th house opposing my Venus in Leo in the 4th house. The family unit, the emotional landscape and being creative within my home are very important to my well-being. Leo Venus gets artistic/creative in the 4th house of creativity at home, making the home look pretty & luxurious even if on a budget. My mom likes to do daily yoga (6th house) and gossip with her friends (Aquarius; her Mercury is also in Aqua).
When two people’s value systems collide, look for other supportive aspects to help offset the frustration. Are there any helpful Moon contacts that make you feel emotionally nourished by your partner? Even if your partner does their own thing with friends because your interests are in disaccord, but comes home and makes you feel like you’re their number 1, that alone can sometimes keep a relationship going. But if there is a challenged Saturn that puts a damper on your Venus and Moon, for example, you might feel that your partner is withholding affection.
One important thing to remember here is that in a healthy relationship, it is OK for both people to keep their own values and not be punished or devalued for them. However, a relationship will have a much lower chance of survival if both partners do not have an overall shared vision or goal for their relationship. Check the state of Venus in the composite chart, if you have had sufficient interaction with the person in question. The composite chart is the chart of the relationship as a separate entity and only “kicks in” when some sort of a relationship gets established (if you’ve never met the person, it is pretty much irrelevant). It takes on a life of its own and has its very own purpose and values. In some cases, what looks like an incompatible Venus opposite Venus synastry aspect might produce a more positive effect in the composite chart.
7. Is This a Big Deal?
Typically it is not a synastry aspect that would keep two people from forming a relationship or leaving one but it can be if there are other difficult Venus synastry aspects and heavy restrictive influences that make one partner feel unloved, unappreciated etc. It is typically easier to manage than a Moon opposite Moon synastry aspect because we normally can compromise on our social and affection preferences while having our emotional needs not met is a totally different story. After all, how many married couples do you know who divorced because one partner loved Broadway musicals and the other one preferred to watch a movie at home?
When does the Venus opposition in synastry become a big deal? Well, this could happen when one partner has a challenged Venus in their own natal chart and he/she realized over time that he/she is energetically placing a lot of emphasis on healing that part of them (let’s say, there is a tight Venus square Chiron, Venus square Saturn, Venus square Pluto combination in the natal chart). So this person might get fed up with getting hurt in love and not receiving affection just the way they want to, resulting in ineffective low-frequency behavior such as the reluctance to compromise with the new partner.
Self-awareness and the willingness to compromise with the opposing partner are required in order to make this Venus opposite Venus synastry aspect work.
8. What Can Offset the Negative Effect of Venus Opposite Venus Synastry Aspect? Modifiers.
Great Moon, Moon-Venus contacts and some Jupiter can help offset the long-term challenges of this opposition. Don’t forget helpful Mercury contacts such as Venus trine Mercury, Venus sextile or conjunct Mercury. The Venus conjunct Jupiter synastry aspect can blow the opposition out of proportion (Jupiter expands) but when used consciously, it can bring good luck and positivity/humour into your Venus activities.
Note: Synastry aspects do not work in a vacuum, and no one modifying aspect can fix an incompatible connection laced with poor timing and different maturity levels in two partners.
9. Venus Opposite Venus in Fire Signs vs Air Signs Examples.
- Venus in Aries opposite Venus in Libra synastry aspect. A man with Venus in Aries will want a woman that likes to chase. His female partner’s Venus in Libra isn’t about the chase but fair give-and-take, diplomacy and cooperation. Venus in Aries will eventually find his Libra partner’s love style to be lacking decisiveness when choosing social activities while Libra might find her partner to be a bit too selfish and not ready to compromise as much as she does.
- Venus in Leo opposite Venus in Aquarius synastry aspect. The lioness wants to be adored, showered with genuine (not fake!) praise and verbal support, and admired for her uniqueness, creativity, showmanship, and leadership qualities. Her Venus in Aquarius partner will struggle with making her feel like a queen even despite being amused by her dramatic stage-worthy self-expression and allowing her to be her, because no one person is really all that special in an Aquarius’ eyes.
- Venus in Sagittarius opposite Venus in Gemini synastry aspect. Sag likes to absorb information and accumulate wisdom, while Gemini likes to discuss a bit of everything but nothing too deep. Sounds like a pretty good mix until Venus in Gemini notices that Sag isn’t all that talkative/revealing about themselves or their knowledge, and that they would rather go on a far-away trip that requires more money than may be comfortable for Gemini’s current wallet situation, considering that Venus in Gemini might* have a side fling going on, too. (Venus in Gemini, take it as a joke and don’t get offended but we know that you’ve occasionally wondered if 1 partner could fully satisfy your intellectual desires).
10. Venus Opposite Venus in Earth vs Water Signs Examples.
- Venus in Taurus opposite Venus in Scorpio. One wants to do some gardening on the weekend, and the other one would rather have a glass of wine while discussing the psychological reasons why their partner has these gardening cravings, or try out some new occult ritual they found online.
- Venus in Virgo opposite Venus in Pisces. With Venus being in the fall in Virgo, Venusian values and issues are not perceived as being of great merit. A mother might say, “Let’s research what we will buy at the grocery store with those coupons received in the mail instead!”. Clip coupons on Sunday night? The Venus in Pisces daughter would rather go out dancing or watch a romantic movie!
- Venus in Capricorn opposite Venus in Cancer. A Venus in Capricorn man wants to discuss his new idea for how to do business together as a couple, but his Venus in Cancer female partner wants to spend time with the kids and teach their daughter how to cook a healthy vegetable soup.
Share your experiences with the Venus opposite Venus synastry aspect below, and what was the most irritating thing about it and whether you were able to reconcile the energy differences.