Moon in 12th House Mother-Child Relationship
Yes, I don’t have kids (yet) but right now, I’m (arguably, of course!) the next best person to help you not make the same mistakes my mother made with respect to my Moon in 12th house, and what you should watch out for if your kid has got the same placement, or if you are a mom with a Moon in 12th house.
Moon in 12th house mother-child relationship is an extra complex one. I’ll be writing more articles on this later on, but for now, let’s go over some basics:
1.Contrary to what you may read in the mainstream media (ie Sun sign horoscopes), the moon is actually the #1 most important factor to look at when it comes to all things mothering style and childhood needs-related. The Moon sign and the aspects it makes to other planets is the indicator of your nurturing style if you’re a mother, and the temperament and emotional style, type of nurturing, level of touchy-feeliness and security desired from the mother if it’s a child.
2. The Moon and its respective aspects essentially represent the emotional environment of the first 7 years of a child’s life that can (and certainly will) echo throughout their entire life. We all act out our Moon’s needs in the those first few years until we “grow” into the rest of our chart.
So, for example, in the case of a child with the Moon in Cancer but the Sun in Aries, the child will be moody and emotional most often unable to control those fast changing and overwhelming emotions and anger/aggressiveness of the Aries ego, but the bottom line is that the highly sensitive behaviour will primarily come from the Moon.
3. When looking at the Moon in 12th house mother-child relationship, we can right away point out the obvious challenge. The Moon here has the most difficulty being openly expressed and even understood, which can over time play out in two basic ways: either the person struggles with emotional sensitivities and fear of expressing emotions for many years (even throughout life) or they seek self-protection via more uplifted, spiritual and/or psychic means.
The 12th house in astrology rules our hidden/repressed emotions, secrets, fears, hospitals, prisons, mental institutions, large organizations, high consciousness, spirituality and psychic abilities. The Moon in 12t house children are prime candidates for developing emotional psychic abilities and signs of a spiritual awakening, but depending on how safe they feel talking about it, you may not know this until even later in life!
4. The Moon in 12th house in a child essentially points to an absent mother. This may mean a literal physical absence (the mom is either never home or dies or abandons the child at a relatively young age etc), or the absence is on the emotional or nurturing plane. An emotionally cold or distant mother who is unable to effectively display emotional warmth or the specific type of nurturing that her child needs can traumatize a child.
Yet there are mothers who are emotionally open yet are perhaps unable to provide the structured daily life that a particular child needs, hence resulting in the Moon in 12th house effect of trying to give so much to a child without realizing that the child actually needs something else so he/she still feels that something is missing.
5. If you are a mom with your kid’s Moon in 12th house, your child may feel more connected to their grandma (another female figure in their life) who may be spending a lot of time with them while you may lack the ability or awareness of how best to care for your child in the way she/he needs.
6. It’s always a tricky situation with this placement because the child is unable to coherently verbalize (in many cases) what he/she lacks or needs (often until much later in life!) since most of the time they don’t even understand their own emotions (12th house is all things hidden, foggy and misunderstood, remember?) and the mother’s nurturing style is different so she is often unable to give what is missing even though she may be doing her absolute best!
For example, in a case of a Gemini Moon in 12th house, the child will feel unheard, as though their emotional needs are being brushed off, probably in favor of more mundane tasks.
Remember, most parents will always nurture for their child in the way that resonates with their own needs based on their own nurturing wounds from their own childhood and teenagehood, which are not always in line with what their child actually needs. This is the universe’s way to send us karmic lessons through our children to help us understand that every human being is unique and has unique needs, even though on a grander scheme of things we all have lots of similarities.
7. Just what kind of nurturing does your child need with a Moon in 12h house placement?
Just to make it extra clear one more time, the Moon, in this case, may definitely need a careful handling because when in its own sign of detriment, in the 12th house, the emotional connectedness with other people is expressed through our experience of the Mother, or other caregivers.
Analyze the Moon sign of your child, and assess their needs. A Moon in Cancer will be ultra sensitive with an extreme need for emotional safety and a family home. A Moon in Aquarius will rebel against restrictions and will need a lot of private time to themselves yet may grow up feeling that their mother’s love was conditional. A Gemini Moon will actually appreciate all the intellectual games and puzzles and different activities but will resent a mother who is unable to verbally express her emotions and doesn’t effectively support the child expressing theirs. A Moon in Capricorn needs an organized and well-planned lifestyle in order to feel secure, so a mother who is too spontaneous will instill a sense of instability in her child.
8. Why is it important to gain as much understanding as possible about kids with the Moon in 12th house placement?
Because it will help ease transitions in their life, from going to kindergarten or school, to dealing with school, friendship and first love issues, to general study habits and types of interests, and to understand how she/he responds to new environments. Whether your little one needs more safety and sheltering or craves independence and wants to do things his/her own way, these tendencies are all encoded in the Moon!
9. The sign of the hidden Moon in 12th house can also influence how strongly your Sun sign (ie our ego and our higher self) is expressed.
For example, if you’re a fiery Aries with a detached Aquarius Moon, your aggressive nature may be toned down by the emotionally distant and chill Aquarian influence. Alternatively, if you’re a watery Cancer Sun with a watery Pisces Moon in 12th house, you could be extra intuitive (even a bit psychic!) and emotional, since these are the traits of water signs. Analyze your child’s Sun sign to find clues of how to best offset the challenging Moon in 12th house.
10. The Moon in 12th house mother-child emotional compatibility is important to check to get an overall feel for the nurturing styles and their mutual receptivity.
Check your and your child’s Moon signs. If your Moons are in compatible signs (let’s say, Moon in Libra and Moon in Gemini, both air elements), or your sun and moon are in complementary signs, you will naturally feel a special emotional bond. If your Moon signs are in conflict, then there is a need to pay attention to the differences and reconcile them without making the child feel unsupported, unloved, belittled or stifled.
11. Your child will be intuitively sensitive to the feelings of others with the Moon in 12th house (in general – not just within the family), more so than you – these children grow up to be emotional psychic sponges and pick up on every subtle expression thrown their way.
So as a mother, depending on your own state of the Moon, you may need to learn to be non-judgemental towards the emotional swings that will sure happen, and allow your child to have her/his personal space when needed, especially if the child’s Moon sign is in any sign that is known for going into their hermit mode, like Aquarius and Virgo.
12. The Moon in 12th house kid has an innate need to be empowered in their emotional sensitivity vs being belittled.
Obviously, there is always a need for normal boundaries, but sometimes family members don’t know how to handle these emotional outbursts and tantrums effectively and react forcefully or rigidly or with (subtle or open) disapproval, which will only make things worse. My mother, for instance, had a very no-nonsense approach to me ever since I was little (her own Moon is in Capricorn, so that’s a given) and emotionally ignored my feelings instead of helping me work through mine more effectively.
This type of child may need encouragement in getting his/her own feelings out in moderation – the emotions may build up below the surface over a period of time and then erupt unexpectedly, either very quickly or much later in life. And if, or rather when they do erupt, it is crucial to reassure this child that it is safe to do this, both in terms of the relationship with the family members and other people, as well as his/her own self-image.
One of the most dangerous things to do here is to belittle these emotions and tell the child to not be so sensitive etc. They simply cannot; they will always feel their environment extremely sensitively until they genuinely feel safe and confident enough in finding a way to get empowered by using their special sensitive ability. Intuitive sensitivity is a gift but is most often treated like a curse.
13. Perhaps the most important piece of advice in the Moon in 12t house mother-child relationship case is for the mother to take the time to really understand herself on a deep level. Most often, there are hidden inner struggles that she may not even realize are there that the Moon in 12th house child will inevitably pick up on with age (remember, these are intuitive kids!).
Any planet, not only the Moon, in the 12th house, can reflect an energy that is not being clearly lived out in the early environment. So as a mother, you may want to ask yourself, ‘Do I express my feelings openly, or do I try to hide them from myself as well as others because they are scary, uncomfortable or painful?’. There may often be some family history of emotional turbulence and control stemming from the mother’s own childhood, which has left a residue of unresolved feelings that are now echoing in your own child. If this is so, then your child’s 12th house Moon may suggest that he/she is very sensitive to this without you realizing it, and has been given the uneasy task of redeeming what her ancestors could not.
To make it easier for your child, check out with yourself if you are possibly carrying any feelings of discontent, resentment, depression, or anger/rage. Have you ever felt betrayed or disempowered, causing trust issues or certain insecurities? Not necessarily by your own parents but perhaps friends, the school system, lovers, your husband etc. It is obviously hard to predict exactly what the source of the repressed feelings is without looking at your birth chart, but if there are such feelings present (or were present), then the more you make a conscious choice to embrace them, the less charge they will carry in the family consciousness, and the less likely your child is to feel overwhelmed by their energy. Yes, once again, this child will become aware of hidden feelings so it’s best to not suppress them.
14. Lastly, once you’ve analyzed the sign of your child’s Moon in 12th house and the corresponding nurturing needed for that placement, you’ll want to check for any aspects (especially squares, oppositions and conjunctions) between the Moon and Venus, Saturn and Neptune above all, and their inter-aspects.
For example, with a Venus exactly conjunct Saturn aspects, the child will tend to feel disapproval (not only from you necessarily) very strongly that may even result in feeling unloved (even though you may obviously love your child, but it’s all in the projection!). Venus is also a feminine energy so in a case of hard aspects to Saturn, it’s an indication of a blockage echoing from the Moon, as well. So it’s best to set fair and not overly harsh boundaries in order for this to be alleviated.