Mercury Conjunct Moon Synastry Vs Venus Conjunct Mercury Difference

Mercury contacts, be it a Mercury conjunct Moon synastry aspect, Mercury conjunct Venus or else, seem to be undervalued between two people because the focus on the classical romance aspects seems to often trump the importance of Mercurial communication. This actually surprises me because no relationship can feel truly fulfilling without a mental rapport and verbal expression that does not create too many roadblocks for the two people involved. (Mercury in Virgo at 17 degrees here; obviously I care about communication LOL).

How many times have you seen a relationship that scores so many great points on your check list yet the poor communication makes it impossible to consummate or make it last? That’s Mercury in synastry!

Why do these aspects often get mixed up or even overlooked in favour of such classics as Sun-Moon, Moon-Venus, Venus-Mars synastry aspects? After all, Mercury is not technically a romantic planet yet romance, especially for women, as psychologists say, depends on communication. Women love with their ears while men love with their eyes, right?

Before we go over the Venus conjunct Mercury and Mercury conjunct Moon synastry aspects in question for more clues, let’s quickly go over one published relationship psychology study. In a nutshell, it suggests that you should choose a partner on a similar mental level as yourself because too much misbalance inevitably leads to dissatisfaction over time once the initial excitement and infatuation wear off.

Fun Fact from the Mensa Society:
A Dutch relationship psychology study conducted by the Mensa Society (read at revealed that the intellectually gifted status of the romantic partners seems to have virtually no difference in perceived relationship quality. Meaning that being highly intelligent doesn’t lead to relationship misery and having a low IQ can lead to plausible relationships, depending on other factors.

However, the style of conflict resolution shows a difference between partners who are more or less gifted intellectually. The more intellectually gifted the partners are, the more they tend to prefer to avoid conflict and steer clear of disagreements. Instead of engaging in the arguably more effective strategies of compromise and integration (a-la-Libra style when not in the passive-aggressive mode), the very smart seem to be immune to the avoidance’s negative consequences. I guess this justifies a saying “there is no point in arguing with the stupid”.

Dijkstra et al. reasoned that, based on the idea that like attracts like when it comes to intelligence, the Mensa study found that its members were more likely to choose partners who shared their level of intelligence as to have more “shared emotional experiences” (Moon contacts astrologically-speaking), fewer disagreements (good Mercury contacts) and similar life philosophy (compatible Jupiter contacts). This is because the intellectually gifted partners tend to value and treasure the mind from the same elevated plane.

Therefore, although such partners generally tend to avoid conflicts when they occur, perhaps those at the upper levels of the IQ scale are simply less likely to have unproductive (and especially petty) disagreements with their similarly well-educated partners. Surely some might enjoy a healthy debate on some interest subject, but those with a higher IQ are more likely to try to not allow it to spill over the romantic relationship as to cause emotional damage.


Mercury Conjunct Moon Synastry Aspect vs Square or Trine/Sextile: Emotional Communication

The Mercury conjunct Moon synastry treat offers the gift of mutual understanding of how one partner’s mood swings (let’s say, in the case of a Cancer Moon) may be met with a natural understanding and sympathy by the Mercury partner. And the Mercury partner’s thoughts and verbally expressed ideas get the emotional support by the Moon in the way that feels non-threatening to Mercury. Of course, if one partner’s planet is afflicted, the interaction will be coloured by that.

I recently had a Mercury conjunct Moon synastry aspect with someone who I shared a pretty interesting mental rapport with. Sadly, his challenged natal chart and that darn South Node in Aquarius that makes men so impersonal (haha), among other things, resulted in me exiting the situation. Nevertheless, despite his highly combative 0 degree orb Sun square Mars natal aspect, I still have nice memories of our fun yet intellectually stimulating conversations that our Mercury conjunct Moon synastry aspect in Gemini brought. Our conjunction was in the 12th house so the psychic overlay between us was pretty intense, too. But that’s for another post.

If you spot Moon square Mercury synastry aspect, I’d be cautious. Definitely check for other Mercury and other potentially combative challenged contacts, such as Moon-Mars, Moon-Uranus, Sun-Mercury, Sun-Mars, Mercury-Mars, and Mars-Uranus. Yes, all of these. Moon square Mercury synastry contact will be felt because one partner’s most sensitive part (Moon) gets rubbed the wrong way by the other partner’s mental process and communication style (Mercury). Yikes! Not the end of the world though. Look for Moon – Jupiter and Jupiter- Mercury to smooth things over.

Moon trine Mercury and Moon sextile Mercury synastry aspects are just wonderful. Sure, something heavy like a Saturn square Moon might dampen the rapport but on its own, this is feelings and mind coming together in a complementary way that feels familiar and pretty safe. No battleground here and no need to constantly be on the defensive.

Before we compare the Mercury conjunct Moon synastry aspect (or its square or trine versions) with Venus on Mercury, let’s see how the latter can manifest between two people.


Venus Conjunct Mercury Synastry Aspect vs Square & Trine/Sextile: Romantic and Artistic Communication

I find this aspect to be quite important for me personally with my factual Mercury in Virgo and dramatic Venus in Leo. I have observed, in my practice and my own life observations, that Mercury- Venus synastry aspects can either help partners slide further into the deeper infatuation/connection zone, or irritate the heck out of each other rather quickly. Venus loves the way Mercury expresses themselves but if there is a tight square, beware! Chances are, over time Venus may want Mercury to just…. well, shut up!

The Canadian political commentator with far-left white nationalist views who became a mayoral candidate in Toronto’s October 2018 election, Faith Goldy,  and won an alarming 3.4% of the votes (racism is still kicking even in Canada, eh?!), has her Mercury square my Venus. I literally cannot listen to her voice (actual vocal expression) without cringing because it sounds like she’s chewing industrial rubber. Ironically, her Venus makes a soft aspect to my Mercury but I ain’t singing for her, no-no!

I absolutely love Venus trine or sextile Mercury in synastry with the man being Mercury because not only will I generally enjoy him talking to me, but in most cases, I will have an extra crush on his actual voice. The tone and timbre of the voice. As a  musician, this becomes significant for me; probably more so than for some other people because we live and breathe art and if the artistic instrument of your partner doesn’t produce any emotional positivity in you, then you can imagine that over time, this may really become a sore spot.

My fav singer Gwen Stefani has her Venus in Virgo conjunct my Mercury in Virgo. Her South Node also conjuncts my Mercury (that’s a whole different topic. I haven’t met her in this life… yet! Don’t write it off just yet though haha). If her time of birth is correct (it’s a question mark because I’ve seen a couple of versions), then my Venus doesn’t make aspects to her Mercury.

This suggests that the conjunction may actually play out mutually both ways, otherwise where is my love for her voice coming from if not from my Venus to her Mercury or her Venus to my Mercury? And would she like my voice then with this conjunction? (my heart is trembling like a 15-year-old super-fan high on Neptunian dreams!). There is also a 0 degree Chiron trine Mercury synastry aspect between us with my Chiron getting virtually healed by her voice. That is true! She has mostly soft aspects to my Chiron so you can imagine that she has more than just a vocal healing effect on me over the span of my life since the late 90’s.


Mercury Conjunct Moon Synastry Aspect vs Venus Conjunct Mercury: The Difference & Examples

So how is Venus conjunct Mercury different from a Mercury conjunct Moon synastry aspect? Well, it comes down to your understanding of the difference between your social and loving appreciation style (Venus) vs your non-negotiable emotional and nurturing needs (Moon). If you have a Moon conjunct Venus natal aspect, both of these will be in line for you, so it’s pretty straight-forward. But if they are in disaccord, as often is the case with people who end up cheating in relationships (because what they want and what they need create an inner conflict in them), then the difference is more apparent.

Let’s say you’ve been emotionally starved since childhood. In your synastry with your parents, there are separating challenging (opposition and square) contacts to your Moon. So you crave an emotional understanding from your romantic partner (compensating). So a partner whose Mercury touches your Moon will affect you essentially deeper than someone who touches your Venus. Because you’re emotionally starved so your Moon needs take precedence. Along comes a Mercury conjunct Moon synastry aspect that makes you feel mentally understood. Your partner just gets your emotional struggle and his/her style of communication shows that. It doesn’t mean they are always nice to you but merely that they just get you on that level.

Now, a Venus conjunct Mercury synastry aspect, by contrast, would focus more on your “wants” vs your “needs”. The way you want to enjoy life’s social activities, art, beauty, clothing style, how you give and want to receive affection and appreciation from others, is mentally understood by your Mercury partner. This is a more intellectually calculating and stimulating type of a contact than the Mercury conjunct Moon synastry aspect.

With Venus, we can compromise and negotiate with our partner (“calculate” what we can forgo in favour of the relationship success), where with the Moon, it is much harder to do so. “I want to cuddle every night” may be easier to say “no” to in ourselves than “I need to feel safe knowing that I can talk to you about anything without you belittling me like my parents did”. The longer our Moon remains starved, the more we crave a Moon-based connection with someone that gets a spill-over effect to our Mercury, as well.

My Moon is in Gemini, so my nurturing needs involve learning a variety of new subjects, reading a lot, and having a partner who would communicate with me in a friendly fun way on different subjects (including emotions, which is not easy with my 12th house Moon opposite Neptune). With my Moon already having a Mercurial feel to it, and my Mercury being strong in Virgo, I crave an intellectually stimulating partnership where my intellect and the need for self-expression get nourished.

So a Mercury conjunct Moon synastry aspect with someone to my Moon will be very important to me, and will inevitably reflect on both my Moon and Mercury because both are Mercurial.

Now onto Venus. With my Venus in Leo, a Venus conjunct Mercury synastry aspect would give the Mercury partner a Leo communication style that I might enjoy. Perhaps this person would have a loving and warm way of talking to me, just like a Leo Venus in a late degree would like.

However, the conjunction could also go either way and produce some irritation. What if the Mercury person is too self-centered in their communication (the “let’s talk about me” Leo) and stubborn because Leo is a fixed sign? It may be quite lovely to have it in Venus where Leo becomes loyal and steadily passionate and warm, but in Mercury? I sure hope that the Mercury person would defend me in a time of need like a royal Leo should. But would their pride possibly get in the way of letting someone else lead at times? Would that bother me?

As you can see, a natural understanding of the Venus conjunct Mercury synastry energies doesn’t guarantee a long-lasting relating. And depending on which stage of life you are at in terms of getting your own emotional needs met, you will feel more or less connected to your Moon and Venus energies that will be stimulated when someone’s Mercury touches them.

Comment below whether your find Mercury conjunct Moon synastry aspect to be more or less significant for you than the Venus conjunct Mercury one.

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