Inspired by Bell’s Let’s Talk mental health awareness day on January 30th (Canada), I wanted to share with you an example of a Chiron healing and wounding as experienced by me (my Chiron is in Gemini)… So you can hopefully use this as a reminder to all the parents out there, especially those with young children, and including those who are astro-conscious, to support your children’s dreams.
One of the simplest yet most often ignored ways to help your child grow up with a healthy mental state, is to actively join them on their journey of self-discovery of their passions, instead of shutting them down.
Look how happy this little drummer in the video above is. He wouldn’t be smiling doing what clearly brings so much joy to him, if his parent(s) didn’t take the time to HELP him get there.
Parents, take clues from your children. If your child ASKS for your help with their dreams and you continuously refuse and put them down, you’re running a risk of not only affecting your child’s entire future via neglect, but also result in resentment that will eventually settle in in a child over time towards you for the reason of that emotional/psychological neglect.
We are talking about reasonable requests, of course… We are not talking about “mommy, make me star in a Hollywood film RIGHT NOW!” types of tantrums. But if your child is clearly showing interest in art or something else, make the effort to bring them just one step closer to their dream that goes beyond just dropping them off at a theatre or a music lesson. Create strategies for the future TOGETHER; talk about the different ways the child can achieve their dream.
I see way too many parents who lack ambition in themselves downplay their kids’ rising interests/talents, and they ONLY do what they believe the kid needs without paying attention to the clues given by their kid. (Likely because their own parents had crushed them when they were young – look for difficult Saturn, Pluto and Neptune aspects in their charts).
Many parents think kids are stupid or don’t understand “yet”. When in reality kids are more perceptive and intuitive than every second adult, until they get CONDITIONED and NUMBED to not listen to their own needs in favour of what the authorities (i.e. parents/society etc) tell them to do. The Chiron healing starts off as the Chiron wounding every time.
Some of my own extended family members had even pre-planned for their kids to NOT go far and be “normal” instead (ie basically a way to pre-shut down the kids’ high potential). Of course, since children are our karmic lessons, their kids are now showing natural artistic talents but the parents have no interest in really developing them into something worthy.
Seeing videos like this truly melts my Chiron healing heart because it is so satisfying to see a genuinely happy kid who FEELS supported and safe to express themselves in a healthy non-threatened way. As someone whose self-expression was restricted, crushed and overshadowed by parents since childhood resulting in life-long traumas, I cannot stress enough how important and rather simple (if you think about it) this really is.
The Chiron Healing Story from a Cruise Ship
I remember being on some Caribbean cruise vacation a few years back and a Russian man was talking to me after hearing me sing at the piano bar (my top 3 fav activities while cruising). Considering his age, we talked about his 12 year-old daughter whose dream is to be a singer, and how he takes her to singing competitions, even to different cities etc…
At one point, he TEARED UP and asked me :”Is there any way your father could possibly help my daughter with anything?” [I had previously mentioned to him that my father is a truly talented composer/arranger who worked with numerous celebrities before our immigration. FYI in Russia, in the 80’s you could be occupying a high level position and still make very little money; such was the leftover of socialism. We lived in a small apartment and had no car]. That’s when I went into SHOCK. I was ashamed to admit to him that my father didn’t even want to help me so why would he help some other child… [Enter my Moon opposite Neptune natal chart aspect, and years later I still feel so empathetically bitter-sweet about that man’s plea to help his precious girl].
In astrology, when past hurts and traumas suddenly get triggered in us by someone else, there is a Chiron contact present between the 2 people interacting with each other. So this man triggered my Chiron and without realizing it, set me off on a journey of further self-discovery and Chiron healing that is still in effect to this day. He was also one of the catalysts in my life to decidedly make it my mission to support artistically inclined kids/youth and bring about change in people’s parenting techniques.
The reason why I went into shock was because I got reminded that when I was about 12 and was begging my father to sign me up to a modern musical theatre group for kids of my age, that he was associated with at the time, he shut me down every time. He made excuses that I was too young or that I didn’t need it or that it wasn’t anything good etc. My word never mattered. I was going to (classical) music school and that was “enough”. The group would have taken me in practically for free, and since it was located in the same building as my father’s recording studio at the time, it would not add much inconvenience to his life. But it was me who was inconvenient for him. Like many men (and women, for that matter!), he wanted to CONTROL, NOT INSPIRE.
Seeing another father in front of me act in a complete 180 degree reversal of how my father behaved with respect to my dreams, was life-changing. What could I have done wrong as a child that “made” my father refuse to provide me with the environment that would help me flourish, considering he didn’t even have to go out of his way for that? What does this “random” man on a cruise I’m talking to have in his psyche that makes him want to help build a future for his daughter, and what was my father missing in his? Now, having studied astrology, I got my answers :). [To all you Capricorn Moons out there: emotional childhood wounds are not easy to heal. Our inner child can still get hurt even decades later].
Since that event, I met a number of good-hearted fathers and/or mothers who are their children’s advocates, and these are normally the kids who have their rather early start in life. I love seeing them grow and succeed; it is part of my Chiron healing.
People who believe in themselves but have to go through many struggles and pain, usually grow the thickest skin and end up achieving their goals. It is the pain and conflict that is most often the drive behind their actions. But shouldn’t we, a more “evolved” human race, already understand that there is a better way? Both unsupported and supported kids CAN grow up and achieve their dreams, that’s what the free will is for. But the difference is in the TIME and the emotional and psychological RESOURCES that the unsupported ones have to sift through to heal their traumas in order to get to the point of feeling confident enough to keep pushing forward.
Please, if you’re a parent, SAVE that precious time and emotional resources in your child’s life so he/she can go off and do more goodness in the world. Trust me, a genuinely happy supported child will never forget their family when he/she is at the top. Help your child help YOU enjoy seeing them get excited about life. It’s so worth it :).
And don’t worry, I AM PUSHING FORWARD despite all the hardships ;). The Chiron healing has been taking place for awhile, through tears and laughter.